I was never the athletic type. I grew up in Texas, a state that is known for its love of sports and athletes. But that was never me. I was the shy, nerdy kid who hated gym class and got picked on in PE for being skinny and effeminate and having gay mannerisms. I was the kid who got picked last for every sport. The kid who played soccer for a season and then quit. I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as a kid which meant that physical activity was a lot harder for me due to a lack of hand/eye coordination. I was much more into the artistic pursuits like theatre, choir, orchestra and things of that nature. That was the crowd I ran with and the idea of ever doing anything even slightly sporty was absolutely not in the cards for me. I even took PE by correspondence in high school so to say that I have gone through a major transformation since then would be an understatement. This is the story of how I went from not being athletic at all to becoming a bona fide athlete. This is a fitness story for beginners so if you’ve been looking for some inspiration to get started with your own journey toward mental health and fitness, here you go.
Breaking Up, Breaking Free
Back at the end of 2017, I went through a major breakup. We weren’t together all that long but the effect that that relationship had on me was major. My ex took up a lot of my time and energy, both mental and physical. While the breakup was mutual, it still took an emotional toll on me and caused me to question a lot of my life choices up until that moment and caused me to have a few moments of clarity too. One of those breakthroughs was the realization that I needed to start living a more healthy lifestyle. Which led to me giving up drinking. A couple of months after that, I realized that I had so much free time now that I wasn’t drinking so maybe I could integrate physical fitness into my life.
Starting Small with Couch to 5K
This led to me taking up running. I started slow at first, mostly walking or light jogging. I downloaded the Couch to 5K app and that helped give me a structure and a form to my running. And it was hard at first. But slowly I started to look forward to my runs. I started to crave them and hated days when I had to miss for some reason. I didn't have running shoes or appropriate running clothes at all. But that didn’t matter as long as I got some miles in every day I ran. I ran no matter what the weather and found myself actually enjoying it.
Discovering Confidence through Community
I realized that I should probably start doing some races if I wanted to keep up with the running. So later that year, I ran my first 5K. And I felt great! I had a great pace and a great time and I had so much fun doing it. So I signed up for a 10K at the end of the year and I found a running buddy from my local church and having someone else to run with and help keep me accountable ended up being a great thing for my physical and mental health. The 10K went great and I ended up finishing with a great time. I felt so proud of myself and I felt so much more physically and mentally fit.
2019 came around and I decided that maybe I should expand my horizons and try out an actual sport. Running was fun and everything but perhaps there was a sport that I could try as well. So on a whim, I decided to join the local gay softball league. Within a few days, I found myself placed on a team and playing softball. I literally didn’t even know how to catch a ball when I first joined. One of my teammates taught me how to catch right before our first game. Everyone on the team was so supportive and kind and friendly and I surprised myself by not being absolutely terrible at softball. We even won our first game.
My weekends quickly became consumed with softball practices and games and I found myself looking forward to playing and being with my teammates. I still continued to run during the week and the occasional weekend when I didn’t have a softball commitment. But it was nice to have something to look forward to every weekend besides running.
Finding Love on (and off) the Field
During that first season on the team, one of my teammates happened to mention to me that he had a co worker who was single and looking to start dating again so he offered to set us up on a date. I agreed because I figured I had nothing to lose and worst case scenario, maybe I would get a funny story out of it or something. So we agreed to meet for brunch and a short hike. And we hit it off and so one date turned into two dates turned into three dates turned into a proposal while on vacation in Hawaii and a huge wedding in front of all our family and friends! Definitely wasn’t what I expected to happen when I first joined the softball team but it was a wonderful side benefit.
Fitness Beyond The Finish Line
What running also did for me was it opened me up to other ways of getting fit and staying in shape. I later joined a gym and found myself actually waking up early to go to the gym before work. This would have seemed impossible just a few short years before that. While I don’t currently have a gym membership, I still make sure to keep fitness a priority for me by taking workout classes, spin classes or going for a run in my neighborhood. I’ve started prioritizing my physical health and as a result, my mental and emotional health have also greatly improved. I even tried out another sport and played on a gay soccer team for a few seasons!
None of this would have happened to me if I hadn’t decided to start running. I made a decision to prioritize my physical health and to get outside of my comfort zone. And the results have been incredible. If the me of ten years ago met the me of now, he wouldn’t recognize him at all. I’m healthier, happier and a lot more physically fit. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t decided to take up running. But I know I almost certainly would be in a much rougher headspace. Going for a run allowed me to distract myself from whatever problems were going on in my life or in the world. And it gave me some much needed perspective on things. Running also helped me find community whether it was through a running buddy, a softball team or someone from my local exercise class. And it is how I met my now husband.
Running Toward a Better Life
Running really did save my life. It gave me community, love, support, accountability and a sense of calm. Perhaps it can do the same for you. How to get started with running? Just start running. It is really that simple. You don’t have to go far or go fast. You don’t have to have the fanciest running shoes or the latest gadgets. You just have to lace up your shoes and get out on the trail (or sidewalk) and run. Even if you can only do a mile, just do it. Get out there and let it all go. You may not feel a difference that first day or even that first week. But someday soon, you’ll experience it. What we runners call a “runners high”. It is the best feeling and once you feel it, you’ll get addicted to it and want to experience it more.
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